Your News Psychologist
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NextDraft
--> by Dave Pell + 11.6.03

The Doctor is Now In Every Thursday

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  • MEDIA-WRAP ... Lifting the Skirt on Reality TV

  • PICTURE OF THE WEEK ... Web Fertility Kits

  • MARKETING-WRAP ... Nike's LeBron James Bargain

  • CULTURE-WRAP ... Counting Calories at the Drive-Thru

  • + Letterman brings his kid to work, Dean's pickup line and
    MTV makes a stand for quality music...


    Where the news always has issues...

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    MEDIA-WRAP
    Lifting the Skirt on Reality TV

    Episode One
    It's O.K. if the joke is on me. As long as the
    camera is too. Forget those fifteen minutes of
    fame, fifteen seconds of infamy will more than
    please the prototypical member of Generation TV.
    From public gatherings to the evening news to the
    humiliation doled out on the average reality
    television program - I don't care what it is -
    just get me on. If it doesn't get covered by
    television, it didn't happen. That holds true
    whether you're talking about a particular event or
    an entire life. You can live life to the extreme,
    but if you get pre-empted, it all means nothing.
    Great achievement? Put me on. Personal tragedy?
    Roll 'em. You might be the most self assured,
    accomplished, confident person in the world, but
    when the camera passes over your section of the
    sports stadium, you will stand, cheer and shout
    "Hi Mom" along with the rest of the pixelated
    clones. Welcome to existentialism in the
    television age.

    Television, reality or otherwise, might be the
    great equalizer. It seems that the one thing most
    Americans have in common - regardless of
    socioeconomic differences - is a pretty fierce
    desire to one day appear on that picture box in
    the corner of your living room. HBO is currently
    featuring a documentary filmed by Jamie Johnson,
    an heir to the Johnson and Johnson fortune. The
    documentary called Born Rich features
    indepth interviews with a series of wealthy and
    soon to be even more wealthy individuals in their
    twenties with names like Newhouse, Trump and
    Bloomberg. Johnson himself explains that "Most
    wealthy people are told from a very young age not
    to talk about money." An advisor to Johnson tells
    him early in the filming that he will be
    hard-pressed to get any of his super-rich friends
    to speak on camera, especially because the lone
    topic under review is cold hard cash.

    But it turned out that this warning was way off the
    mark. Times have changed. People from a certain
    group not likely to speak on camera (especially
    about a topic they like to avoid) is no match for
    the magnetism of the lens-side of a handheld
    videocamera. Johnson had little trouble finding
    enough subjects who were more than willing, able and
    open which ultimately made for a pretty
    interesting documentary. This included his father
    who was against the making of the video, but found
    himself appearing (with a speaking part) in some
    of the documentary's most revealing moments. Roll
    the camera so I can tell you why I don't want to
    be on television. Only one of the participants in
    the documentary - an irritating blowhard and gaming
    industry heir named Luke Weil - made any attempt
    to keep himself out of the piece. And he only
    complained after the taping had been completed. In
    the end, even his threatened lawsuit made for more
    great television (and turned him into an
    irritating and litigious blowhard). Talk about
    life imitating life.

    It seems that heirs to great fortunes are just the
    same as the rest of us. Even those who spend their
    lives pulling the strings will happily trade
    places with the marionettes if it means a couple
    minutes of face time on the small screen.

    ...

    Episode Two
    Is there a limit to the extremes to which people
    will go for a little primetime air? You wouldn't
    think so, but some UK reality TV producers may have
    discovered the edge of the envelope with the
    creation of a show called There's Something
    About Miriam
    . In the show, several men wooed,
    cuddled, kissed and vied for the attention of
    an attractive woman. It was only later that the
    men were made aware that the woman over whom they
    were competing was actually a few operations short
    of complete womanhood. With a simple and shocking
    lift of the skirt, Miriam may have done the
    impossible. He/She pushed reality TV participants
    to do the previously unthinkable; They are suing
    producers to keep the show off the air.

    While Miriam may have crossed a line
    (although a jury of average television viewers
    would likely rule that the show must go on), the
    show's producers were not alone in their effort to
    push reality television to the extreme. They need
    to get viewers talking. Not just before or after
    the show. But during it.

    Ever try to watch a reality television program
    alone? It's not much fun. An essential element of
    the reality television experience is that the
    shows serve as a conversation piece. When people
    watch a show like The Bachelor, they spend
    much of their time discussing the good and bad and
    bad and bad points about the various participants.
    Granted we're talking about what's on television
    but at least sitting in silence in front of the
    blue glow has been replaced in part by what, if
    I'm not mistaken, sounds like conversation.

    My wife and I have now found that when it comes to
    watching TV, we actually need each other. NBC
    just debuted a reality show called Average
    Joe
    in which an attractive woman expecting to
    search for love in a predictable playground of
    Hollywood hunks finds that instead the carnie has
    pulled into town. The show is goofy. The guys are
    pathetic. The tone of the show falls somewhere
    between cruel and depressing. Left alone, I could
    have never watched this show (and not just because
    NFL Live was on ESPN2 at the time). But in a room
    with two or more people, these reality shows
    become a fuse for lively, albeit meaningless,
    dialogue.

    The irony here is that reality programming is
    essentially driving Americans back to their
    dinner table conversations and away (at least
    momentarily) from the tube. Unlike the average
    sitcom, reality TV almost demands conversation.
    Slowly but surely, average Joes and Janes may find
    that they enjoy the sound of their own voices even
    more than the ones pouring out of their digital
    surround sound systems. By getting us talking once
    again, reality television may ultimately squeeze
    itself right out of the primetime lineup. We may
    all stop badmouthing the folks on television and
    return to the far more healthy tradition of
    badmouthing each other. It follows that life
    itself could eventually become a midseason
    replacement series (I'm still hoping for an
    occasional cameo by Beyonce). Reality TV could be
    replaced by reality itself and we may just turn
    the TV off for awhile.

    But first I gotta find out which one of the
    Average Joes gets the girl (and if she's a
    girl in the first place).

    ...

    Speaking of the disappearing border between
    television and reality, David Letterman exhibited
    a bit of a boundary issue the night after his
    first child (a boy) was born. Letterman brought in
    a picture to show his channel-flipping audience,
    shared details about his name (Harry, after a
    grandfather) and weight, etc. All told, Harry was
    worth a segment or two and a Top Ten List. CBS is
    probably hoping Dave's personal show and tell session
    will make for a much-needed ratings boost. At the
    very least, the bris should do great numbers.

    ...

    PICTURE OF THE WEEK

    the caption:
    "I'm beginning to have second thoughts
    about that fertility kit we bought on the web."

    the picture:
    http://www.nextdraft.com/gtp/fertgtp.html

    ...

    MARKETING-WRAP
    Nike's LeBron James Bargain

    Quick. Name a company that is well-known for
    making athletic shoes.

    Not too hard is it? After an unprecedented period of
    hoops hype, just-out-of-high-school Lebron James
    made his much-awaited debut in the NBA. His first
    couple of games couldn't have gone better. In both
    games, he played well, he looked mature, he passed
    the ball, he ran the team's offense and even his
    often maligned jumpshot was hitting nothing but
    net. LeBron's debut and followup had something
    else in common. The television and radio
    announcers made mention of the expectations
    created by LeBron's recently signed $90 million
    shoe deal with Nike. And no one pays them
    to discuss this topic. They just do it.

    Was Nike crazy to sign this kind of a deal with a
    kid who had never set his shoes on an NBA court?
    Maybe. But probably not. Imagine you are the
    marketing director for an internationally known
    company. Your boss tells you that you are
    responsible for a $90 million budget. Your only
    required task is to make sure that the $90 million
    buys you exposure everywhere sports are
    covered. Got that? Everywhere! Not some of the
    shows and columns and magazines. All of them. You
    must be in every newspaper sports section on
    several occasions. Every television sportscast must
    talk about your campaign. Every sports radio show,
    local or national, must spend hours and hours
    discussing the very thing you set out to market.
    Sure, even in the free-spending worlds of
    marketing, sports and media, $90 million is a
    decent chunk of change. But think you could have
    gotten everyone talking about your campaign and
    mentioning your brand for months and months? Could
    Nike have come up with some other way to get those
    same marketing dollars to stretch any farther?

    The money, in the short run, made the star and
    made the story. Will LeBron be a success? He
    already is folks. He's the kid who got a $90
    million deal before bouncing a ball. Will the Nike
    campaign pay off? Well to quote another great
    ad campaign, you're soaking in it. Believe it or
    not, Nike is not paying me for this segment. (You
    hear that Reebok and Adidas? Opportunity knocks...)

    If LeBron has a slow stretch and struggles on the
    court, many news outlets will once again dredge up
    the Nike deal. If he becomes a star because of his
    play, Nike remains a key part of the story. In fact,
    Nike's $90 million deal with LeBron James will
    keep their brand in the sports news right up to
    the moment they offer someone else $95 million.

    Now that'll be really crazy.

    Sidenote: Such marketing does not work on
    everyone. To test the theory above, I quizzed my
    dad (who is a major naysayer when it comes to the
    relationship between celebrity endorsements and
    purchasing behavior) with the question above. When
    I demanded, "Quick, name the best-known athletic
    shoe company." He paused for second, looked up
    from his lunch and said: "K-Swiss."

    ...

    Howard Dean's Bad Pickup Lines
    Howard Dean created quite a stir among Democratic
    contenders when he explained to reporters that: "I
    still want to be the candidate for guys with
    Confederate flags in their pickup trucks." The
    reaction was fairly quick and plenty negative,
    with John Edwards and Al Sharpton leading the
    charge. Eventually, Dean sort of admitted his
    choice of words was a mistake.

    But there are more important mistakes here than
    just a simple choice of words. First, Dean's very
    premise (that Democrats need to learn to appeal to
    a wide variety of Southerners, even those who
    pledge allegiance to the Confederate flag) is dead
    wrong. The Dems will not rebuild their party by
    pandering to those they despise. Better to lose
    with pride than to win with this strategy. Any of
    you Confederate flag worshippers out there can
    just go ahead and cease any support for this
    newsletter (unless of course you also happen to be
    the editor of a major media publication in search
    of a new columnist in which case, I'm willing to
    adapt). In terms of pickup trucks, I'm OK with
    them. It's the El Caminos that make me nervous.

    Second, and more important, Dean here is making
    the terrible mistake of putting strategy first.
    All political parties must strategize ways to put
    together the right mix of voting blocks to come
    out ahead. But that strategy should not be at the
    forefront of a campaign. Some conversations are
    for backrooms, not the nightly news. It's time for
    my party to stop focusing all of its public
    rhetoric on strategy, tactics and counterpunching.
    Ideas will win this campaign. (At the very least,
    we should pretend they will.)

    ...

    CULTURE-WRAP
    Counting Calories at the Drive-Thru

    A bill has been introduced in Congress that would
    require chain restaurants with twenty or more
    outlets to include nutritional information such as
    calories and fat content right next to each item
    on the menu. Needless to say, restaurants are
    lobbying hard against the bill. Surprisingly,
    consumers are for it.

    But do we really want to know? Is any ignorance
    more bliss than that which accompanies a large
    plate of nachos?

    Do you actually want to be tipped off that
    munching down a quick Big Mac, Supersized Fries
    and a really large milkshake will run you about
    2,360 calories and 90 grams of fat? Or that a
    snack such as the aforementioned nachos from
    Wendy's-owned Baja Fresh chain will load you up
    with 2,000 calories and enough saturated fat to
    turn merely contemplating what you've just ingested
    into a major aerobic activity?

    And let's not pretend it's just fast food joints.
    Sometimes in a restaurant (especially a quality
    one), you find yourself wondering how the famous
    French chef makes something as simple as a
    vegetable side dish taste so good. You know how.
    (Hint: It ain't Parkay.)

    ...

    For Further Analysis

    Say What?
    Sometimes quotes from the news are just
    too good to believe. Here's what the president of
    MTV Networks in Europe had to say about
    American Idol and pop talent shows like it:
    "These programs make good TV but from a musical
    point of view, they do not have any value. I
    totally believe they have devalued us, taken us
    back to light entertainment and voyeurism. I think
    people will turn away from it. They are looking
    for more substance."

    This is from a guy who runs MTV. What's next, is
    Jerry Springer going to complain that Ted Koppel
    and Terry Gross have soiled the interview show
    format? Or maybe David Blaine will complain that
    today's magic sucks?

    ... Our Time is up. See You Next Week.

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    NextDraft ... Your News Psychologist
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